You are not failing, you are excelling at something else. After I was told my cancer had spread again, and the chemo was not longer working. My first thought was, I’m failing the people I love. I failing my fabulous fighters and the many people who watch my journey.
I preach about a holistic lifestyle along with allopathic medicine but yet, here I am, and my cancer is spreading. I didn’t want to tell anyone, I didn’t even want to accept what the doctor was telling me. For the past few weeks I have been struggling with this news, the new chemo and the side effects, but most of my struggle stemmed from feeling I was failing all of you. When I looked and thought long and hard I realized I also felt as if I was failing myself. All the research and schooling I have done to crack the cancer code and yet here I stand with more chemo running through my veins and cancer in my body.
Frustrating? Yes! Failing? NO!!! Thinking long and hard about this brought about the question, what would it truly look like to me, too fail? My answer, if I gave up. If I gave up thinking I can beat this, if I gave up searching to crack the cancer code, if I gave up learning daily, or if I just gave up on this life. To me that would be failing. I even hate the word failing because honestly no one is failing, we are just excelling at other things.
Right now my cancer has spread but my mind is sharp and I see things clearly. A year ago I would have beat myself up for months feeling like an utter failure, but now I can turn the situation around quickly and think of it in another way. I am constantly learning new things about my strength and the amazing army of fabulous fighters I have around me. You all have given me this strength to keep going, to keep helping others on this journey, and to feel blessed that I can continue to use my education to crack this cancer code. This is not an easy journey and it is so easy to fall prey to our own negative thoughts and self talk. So I want to thank all of you for your continued love, support, and encouragement. You are the reasons I continue to work hard, believe in myself, and know that this cancer code will be cracked!
All my love, Fabulous Fighters,